Watching La bola negra as a foreigner, I felt like I was stepping into a world and history that are so specific, yet completely universal. Right away, what hit me hardest was the art of it all. The cinematography and photography are pure, stunning art in every single frame.

I’m not super familiar with the Spanish Civil War, but the film makes you feel the weight of it without needing a history lesson. Watching it, I couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of unease just imagining what that must have felt like, Spaniard against Spaniard, neighbor against neighbor.

Lorca, verse, and that bar scene

My favorite scene by far was when Lorca is drunk in the bar. Watching him almost letting godrunk enough to push past the fear and feel brave enough to think, for a fleeting moment, that he could just be. In that scene, it feels like he was all of us, and we were all him at some point in our lives: holding onto that small, fleeting window of freedom before the weight of the world comes crashing back down, so elegantly depicted with his collapse. 

Three eras, one truth

The movie tells three stories across different eras, and as a viewer, or rather a gay man, I could relate to all of them, the fears, the thrills, the audacity to dare anyway even at risk of life and limb. Deep down, underneath all the time periods and changes, the core emotions we feel for being a minority that is historically excluded stay exactly the same.

My first thought at the end of it all after 2 and some hours of wet eyes: little has changed, love wins but it was and stays forbidden to just be. Perhaps in some spaces today somewhat more tollerated is all. It hurt then just as it does today. The trauma just takes on different forms, but it is there, always even across time.

The Song "La Nieve"

And then there's the song, "La nieve". If the emotions were not runing high enough throughout this masterpiece will bring even the coldest of hearts to a simmer. Even though I didn’t necessarily understand every single word, there is this heavy, lingering agony about it that just cuts into you. Listening to it, I couldn't help wondering if parts of it were pulled straight from an actual poem or letters of his and it turns out it was the case. It’s inspired by Lorca's own unexpressed words and manuscripts, which explains why it carries so much emotional weight.

En fin

I loved the movie, the art, and the emotional journey it felt cathartic in so many ways. It gave me a deeper respect for the older guys in our community and a perspective on Spanish culture that is truly special and unique. Most of all, I love that I took the time to learn Spanish, if only to be able to experience this story in its original language, exactly as the artists intended it to be. Brilliantly brought to life by Los Javis.